Saturday, July 02, 2005

the way i see it #23

"Chances are you are scared of fictions. Chances are you are only fleetingly happy. Chances are you know much less than you think you do. Chances are you feel a little guilty. Chances are you want people to lie to you. Perhaps the answer lies on the side of a coffee cup. You are lost."
-David Cross

These words bobbed in and out of my vison every time I took a sip of my overpriced coffee today. I don't feel lost or fleetingly happy and I definitely don't want people to lie to me. I was just thinking about how sad it is that now coffeehouse conversation needs to be prompted by some random quote.
How ironic is it that I was reading Adbusters in a Chapters, drinking a venti nonfat vanilla latte? I assure you I would support local business if there was any up here.

Reading Adbusters wasn't really a good idea. I used to criticize them for being all about the shock-factor but they now seem to be making progress- they're being more constructive.
But for what?
Is wearing socially responsible shoes going to really change things?
I don't know why I bother reading that trash. I'm not looking for hope.
I know Culture Jamming is not the answer.

But I was just feeling really odd today.
Disconnected, I guess.

Ten minutes before I was supposed to be at work- with no way of getting there - and I was just sitting at my computer, reading my email, not especially worried. At all.
After work I realized, again, I hadn't arranged a way to get home. So I started to walk with my bag full of leftover Yuha coolers.
Two hours later, I am home.

I thought about why I feel disconnected- why I am not connected. Simply put, I haven't connected with anyone today. Sure, there was plenty of conversation at work ("It's a new vodka cooler with 55% real fruit juice and it's not carbonated. We have mango-citrus, and orange-passionfruit-guava. Would you like to try both?") but there was nothing real.
I realized that I need that real conversation.

And I am so thankful for all the wonderful people in my life who help me stay connected.

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